are simply dead tired.
I have to be always attentive to every thing I do, because the work is work, with that is why I must be careful not find out anything about p. and it becomes increasingly difficult, which has seen its plush in my bedroom, could easily look at the mail and read the blog, if you would really know the truth. And I occasionally try to hide it all clumsily, is that it would be a lot of work to do and I do not have all that time, all this meticulousness it to act. Then why
punk, as usual, is risparito. I have briefly summarized the situation:
Me: Ok, that's quite Probably that I'm coming crazy, of course, But I always wonder about what you're doing and I feel lost without it .. know it sounds stupid, But Now , I'm not Able to do nothing else except this. I can’t do anything except be in love with you and all I do is miss you.
now you know what there's in my mind.
I'm also quite sure that you are not really so interesting in it. But at this point also “I don't give a fuck, shut up” could be enough as answer.
At least, say this. Because these silences kill me.
lui: o.O...ohh thats not my mind...i must work from the mornig to the night in the last time...sorry...you can every day come to my in the in the evenings...i think if you come from 8 to 12 is ok...then we can us to converse...k?
it´s to mean no harm...
why you don´t come to me...i think i have sayed to you you can come to me everytime..
naja liebe grüße jean
(NB. Note well the "Well, we salute the final .."..)
I waited a week, July 26th I went to them and clearly, I was not open (but believing that there was no nos, as the dog barked over the intercom, I waited like a stoned for a good three hours outside, so as not to lose the habit. He, of course, never arrived).
We want to blame? but go and did not know that we would go.
then return home, write them a calm message saying, "I came but were not there, tell me when you're there."
no frills, clean and courteous.
At that, the tragic discovery that happened with myspace, also tells you if the other person reads the message and when. So you know
that the law the next day at noon (that is, I always like to write at 4 am, he, much more sober than me, at noon, when I sleep I still me fat).
law and not even smear the shit.
To which, I have been patient three days, a week or ten days. Then, I do not have more than done: "you're still in blöder arsch.blablablaaaa. Suck."
Again, no frills, simple, but much, much less polite.
I, who am a fox, I waited four days before seeing whether or not I had said, surprise, surprise, after nearly a week, did not read it yet. To which I would like to bury
Sollo. According to Vale is on vacation.
here I am afraid to death. I am totally mad, from his point of view, in fact. That is, a week went from crawling to appeals a whip.
If one day I had to open the mail and find a message from him, I would die, I swear. I do not know why, I panic that I respond. You should see me when I see that Tambourine was the message in your inbox, that sigh of relief that comes.
Which is stupid if I did not feel it was enough not to write, no? So I am well sure that I do not answer. But now it's as if I have surrendered to the fact that I'll never be able to end a relationship. It must be that he does not answer me, because it was normal to be so. Or rather, it is so that I always succeed, but that does not make any case at all normal, in fact, is ill.
I really do not feel it anymore. Or maybe yes, but not now, now I only think of anything else, that fact is both practically impossible for him again on September 1. I'm just wondering if you just go back to Italy to forget about it, to even be able to kiss someone else. Because when I left his house I stayed with the usual fuck with people passing through my room, yet I've never done anything. It 's true, there was Patrick, but that's a different story, that's a story of pride. Still, I do not know how, I have no idea why either, but fuck ours is a love story and see that I fuck up everything just because now you want your life suffocates me with rage. And 'we are the same, do the exact same things. Why can not we do it together?
His time there would, I would certainly not going to give up doing the course.
Actually I just me "held good." Ideally, I promise to live with me between a year and a half or two.
I'm going crazy, but really what I want.
Then of course, I look around and wonder why on earth would do such a thing for me. Then vote again the mirror and see that he is not is great perfection, far from it. Yet despite everything, everything that sucks you in and out, all the evil I've seen you can do, I do not want more. So I think in short, could be the same for him. It is he who told me to go and stay with him, it was he who had written to me first, he was the same as she hugged me and so that just a week ago I wrote that I could go to him whenever I wanted.
But I still do not understand, if you are an asshole, or simply takes things very calmly. Which among other things, it would be exactly what I am.
And in fact I think the relief to see that I write is just a hope that is not crazy like me. E 'German god, can not feel emotions so genetically strong.
this would already be enough chaos in the brain, but instead I have more.
At work is a delusion, there is a tense environment, always litigate all, my boss pulls like hell and drinks galore.
To give an idea, I worked last Saturday evening. There were two waiters, as always, the tables all filled in and all filled out, without a break between 18:30 and midnight. Alle9, I was in panic. Why because I'm the only one of two who has been there for more 'than two weeks, it was obvious that she owned everything I'd just like my boss. So, in addition to the usual orders at the tables, make the dishes, clear, manage bookings, equipment and deal There was also managing the work of the cook, the dishwasher handle \\ proponent of flat bread and salad, so even coordinate their timing, and to ensure that the refrigerators were always full.
At 21, I was getting a nervous breakdown. In these cases, the third bedroom is always, always say, was Maurice (the head) and he was the first to get angry if you do not call him because we needed it. So I do not call because I have time. Comes with the girl who does the cleaning in the morning, black, 1.80, two huge boobs, hair riccissimi, a smile and practically naked.
"Well what should I do? There's nothing to do, you're taking out the"
"It Mauri, but I'll take 6 € per hour and I is going to be a heart attack, if it would help me better
"Well, tell me what to do"
Perfect, another to manage. For more with a bitch that is not dissected from behind the counter because it has to speak with Maurice . Like, I had to make a coffee stand in the middle between her tits and fuck her hard.
Creepy, really.
"Okay, if thou hast not want to do anything, I'm alone, but you have to give me permission you can get in trouble all the others, then if you lay off none of my business "
He makes a face Scazzi \\ disgusted, wanders around for a few minutes, then disappears into thin air.
And the people, was more and more.
Within ten minutes Mauri calls me: "But what the hell do you care! Close All But!".
To which I got it I really like the owner and I thought how could he read everything from stress two years without interruption: I opened the fridge and I pour a glass of white wine, then I added a bit 'of Aperol ( not a drop, a bit '). Here is the answer.
time half an hour, and in fact the situation was brought under full control, I was in command and the others were doing. Keeping everything in perfect order, the perfect Nazi. Just a shame, I was drunk. And when I'm drunk as I know, I become too annoying and too direct. To which everyone hated me and I have a crazy fun fall into depression. The day after I discovered also losing out to the stomach.
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